Friday, June 20, 2008

Flooding Vegetables

Last night (2/2):

I am somewhere in the Midwest or rural East Coast in a supermarket. I have a cart and keep finding appetizing vegetables, and load them into my cart. At the end of an aisle are a bunch of windows. I'm looking outside and there is massive flooding going on. Cars are being floated down the street. I look and my car is still stable, though its tires barely visible from the high water. Steve M. from work is suddenly next to me, and tells me that I have too many vegetables in my cart, and that I won't be able to eat them all over the next two days. I guess I'm only staying in town for the weekend. I realize that he is right and plan to put some back. Then I comment on wondering if I'll be able to make it to my Grandma's house in this weather.

Luke vs. Roger

Last night (1/2):

I was at some sort of minor party and an old co-worker of mine from Disney was there, Roger. This guy is about 10 years older than me, tall, slender, and we were always friendly to each other (in real life). For some reason we got into a bet as to who would win a fight between us, even though he is like two weight classes above me. We bet $400 and then got to it in the living room at the party.

It went to the ground almost immediately and I managed to get full mount quickly and easily. It was obvious that Roger did not even know the basics of MMA. He tried to use his height and weight advantage to throw me off over his head, but I managed to work my legs right and shift my weight well enough to stay on. After I rained down some punches from this position, I started delivering some elbows to his forehead. They were cutting him open fairly easily, though the cuts were very small. Then I gave him some more punches to the cut area. The fight stopped for some reason and we were standing again. Roger's forehead wasn't really bleeding but instead looked like it had a huge cut-up bruise on it. When the fight resumed I was throwing some punches at him and he was obviously done with the fight, but still sort of staying in it, like when Kimbo got beat by the cop. It was soon finished and I had won the bet.

A couple days later, a bunch of people including Roger and me (pun intended) were going on a sort of field trip somewhere, and I was demanding my $400 from him. He didn't want to give it to me but finally gave it up, handing me a roll off cash with a dollar wrapped around the outside. I opened it up and it turned out to not be cash at all, but a couple dollars on the outside and a ton of coupons on the inside, adding up to $400 worth of "value". There were some pretty good coupons, like $100 free at Target, $100 free at Best Buy, etc, but I wasn't having it. I told Roger that he'd better get me $400 in real cash or he'd endure a repeat of the fight. LOL.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Strangler

Last night's (3/3):

It is very late at night and I either wake up (not in real life) or am getting ready to fall asleep. The lights are out. I decide to check my walk-in closet to make sure there is nobody in there. I crawl out of my airbed and over to the closet. I enter the closet and wave my arm around near the ground. My hand runs into something. It feels like a leg. I use my other hand to grab also. It is legs. Suddenly a cable is flung around my neck and I am being choked with extreme pressure and very violently. My vision starts to fade and I black out. Then I woke up for real.

Daniel Frustration

Last night's (2/3):

There is a new employee at Avamar. A small group of us are out at lunch with him, and we are eating in a wooded area which feels a bit like a secluded place at Magic Mountain. As we are getting our food and sitting down, I am going off about Daniel at the Shell Subway near our work and telling the new employee the various stories of my experiences with him.

As we sit down, I notice that Arun sits at the end of the log-table, not next to us. I know this is because he is tired of hearing these same stories and I mention so out loud. Arun does not bother to respond and begins to eat his food.

Raptor High Jump

Last night's (1/3):

I work at a Zoo. Something is wrong or we have to check something very late at night. A bunch of us zoo workers go into the zoo and are walking through it (it is a linear zoo). We notice that some of the velociraptors are out in the bushes... in the public area. This is pretty scary. There were about 3 of us in this area. We decided to get out of there, but I can't remember if we just continued to walk calmly, walked faster, or made a run for it. All I remember is turning around and watching an overweight female co-worker behind me grabbing onto a wooden raft that is being used as a bridge, as she is eaten from the legs up and mawled down by a raptor. Then I see another raptor near me, but it just decides to jump extremely high over the fence back into its designated area.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Obama-McCain Debate

Barack Obama and John McCain decided to hold a presidential debate which had an odd format. It was sort of like a press conference. The two sat at a cheap table with a light blue tablecloth on it. They sat side-by-side, very close to each other, both facing the press in the same direction. They would each make short speeches, back and forth, about 3 or 4 minutes each. The rules were that they were not allowed to interrupt each other.

McCain finished with one of his speeches, Obama was giving his, and somehow the venue came up, and Obama said something like "and of course, thanks to that we can be here having this debate at the [location] on [channel]." (can't remember the loc/chan) As Obama was starting to say the location, McCain looked over at him and gestured with his hand at some large poker-chip-like discs that were sitting on the table. The small discs had logos on them. One was for the venue, and the other for the channel. In response to McCain's gesturing, Obama put the chips in his own hands and held the first one up in one hand as he mentioned the location, and then the other up in the other hand when he mentioned the venue. Then Obama continued his statement: "...and when I'm the President of the United States, we won't have to put up with this type of corporate ass kissing." Or perhaps it was a bit lighter, like "corporate pandering".

The entire crowd exploded in cheers. McCain had his "here I am humbly looking down, uncomfortable, and in the minority like when I was on Ellen" face on. As the crowd continued to cheer, McCain wanted so badly to make a comment into his microphone, but knew he couldn't break the rules. So resisting commenting, with his mouth at the microphone as if he was about to comment, he turned his head completely sideways leaning to one side of the microphone, holding that for about a second, then leaned his head sideways the other way, on the other side of the microphone, then sat back.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Elevator Pay Hack

My British friend Sam and I are hanging out at the airport. I'm not sure if it's LAX or not, and I think he either just arrived or is leaving. Anyway, we get into an elevator and it starts to drop. The drop is not as long as usual in my dreams, it's only around 4 or 5 floors. As the elevator gets to the bottom of the shaft it actually slows down completely but is still moving. Then I notice that the doors are shut together but peeled down towards outside the elevator. I don't remember seeing what it looked like outside, but on top of the peeled down doors is Sam's luggage - two suit-cases, one smaller one on top of another.

Somehow this "glitch" of his luggage being on top of the peeled down doors causes this small metal box that sticks out about an inch underneath the elevator keys to start dispensing quarters, or maybe quarters and higher denominations of change. It stops dispensing them after about a half-minute. Me and Sam want to recreate the scenario a bunch of times to get more money out of it.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Village Las Vegas

The Village is actually in Las Vegas, on the strip, as a tall tower. Me and the guys from work are going around the village, drinking, drunk, stopping to gamble here and there, and checking shit out in the mall and arcades. The Village in Las Vegas is way more crazy. On each floor there is some sort of attraction, like a casino, arcade, shops, and the other half is apartments. So we are on one of the floors and we go past some shops, and we are in the apartment half (think a mall that after a while instead of stores, there are just apartment doors and a far more ambient environment).

As mentioned we are drunk and someone says "Hey, I know this one's vacant." He opens the door and we go into the apartment, which is the same floor plan basically as mine and it is indeed almost completely empty. Somehow, however, I can feel that someone is living in this apartment, perhaps just moved in, and is not there at the moment. Somebody decides to take this urn from the bathroom as a souvenir as we all drunkenly loudly leave the apartment. Suddenly the group turns into like only 4 people, and we see the girl that lives in the apartment coming (I don't know how we know she lives there), so we make a run for it. We all split up and I end up going into a stairwell. Somehow I ended up with the urn. I am very nervous and decide to hide the urn inside of a wicker hamper that is in the corner of the stairwell.

In the coming days, there are signs posted for the missing urn. I don't know why I can't return it or pretend that I just happened to find it, but I just can't bring myself to it (?) I am sitting in a lobby area on one of the floors of the Village and I notice the girl (who owns the urn) walking around from person to person. She comes to me and sits near me and asks me if I've seen the urn and that it's not fair that somebody stole it from her and that she wants it back badly, as she cries. I lie and pretend that I don't know anything about it.

I don't know what my problem was in this dream.

Powerful Brita Filter

This one is actually from a month ago or so, but I just recently remembered it again:

I'm either watching an infomercial on tv, or I am in the studio audience for the infomercial. It is for the Brita water filter pitcher. The man demonstrating the filter says something like "The Brita filter is so powerful..." and he takes an empty pitcher, opens the top, pisses inside of it, and says "just look at that" as clear water flows out into the bottom half of the pitcher.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Dream Loop

Setup: I have these dreams frequently, where I think someone has broken into my apartment. I believe I have these dreams as a defense mechanism that tells me that I've left my sliding door open, I'm asleep in the living room, and I hear voices from outside that I shouldn't be hearing.

Dream: I have a dream where I wake up in my bed to sounds of voices. I groggily walk to the living room to find most of my stuff missing and my door open. I get pissed off at the situation, but then I wake up.

But not really, I wake up in the living room on my couch. I reach for my food which should be on my table, but it's not there. I walk to my bedroom and notice my computer and bed are missing. A woman is there, who looks like Mrs. Robinson. She tells me to calm down and that she needs my belongings. I'm furious at the situation, but she starts to undress. This quickly turns to a sex scene. But as I realize that Mrs. Robinson in present time would be super old, I wake up.

But not really, I wake up in the living room on my couch, face down in my pillow struggling to breathe. I want to roll over, but I know I'm on my couch, and I'd roll over to the ground. I try to roll in place, but in both attempts, my body isn't listening to me. I hear a number of people walking through my apartment laughing as they take my stuff. I finally get up, but my body doesn't move as it should. I walk outside and yell, "Police!", but no one comes. Also, my sliding door shows that it's night, but my front door shows that it's day. I then wake up.

This time I really wake up. I wake up to the sounds of my upstairs catercorner neighbor coughing and yelling at one of the kids she babysits. The sun is hitting my face through some reflection of glass in my living room. I stare at my tv, and I notice my Wii is missing! I'm really awake now, as I check my apartment for other items that were missing in my various dream loops. My senses hit me as I realize that I left my Wii at my uncle's house this past weekend to be entertainment for them and my parents which are in town. Sure enough my sliding door window was open the whole night, I fell asleep in the living room, and I guess my brain was on alert mode for every noise I heard.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Dreamcorder 2010

The Dreamcorder reaches its logical conclusion and becomes a video blog where Luke posts Paris-Hilton-style (or Colin-Farrell-style) home sex tapes. He excitedly shows me his latest post — at work! — and as I realize what I'm watching in my dream, my mind kicks me back out into real life. Thankfully, my brain made it so that I somehow knew that I was watching Luke, but I wasn't actually forming any mental images ... of him, at least. ;-)