Flooding Vegetables

Last night (2/2):

I am somewhere in the Midwest or rural East Coast in a supermarket. I have a cart and keep finding appetizing vegetables, and load them into my cart. At the end of an aisle are a bunch of windows. I'm looking outside and there is massive flooding going on. Cars are being floated down the street. I look and my car is still stable, though its tires barely visible from the high water. Steve M. from work is suddenly next to me, and tells me that I have too many vegetables in my cart, and that I won't be able to eat them all over the next two days. I guess I'm only staying in town for the weekend. I realize that he is right and plan to put some back. Then I comment on wondering if I'll be able to make it to my Grandma's house in this weather.

Luke vs. Roger

Last night (1/2):

I was at some sort of minor party and an old co-worker of mine from Disney was there, Roger. This guy is about 10 years older than me, tall, slender, and we were always friendly to each other (in real life). For some reason we got into a bet as to who would win a fight between us, even though he is like two weight classes above me. We bet $400 and then got to it in the living room at the party.

It went to the ground almost immediately and I managed to get full mount quickly and easily. It was obvious that Roger did not even know the basics of MMA. He tried to use his height and weight advantage to throw me off over his head, but I managed to work my legs right and shift my weight well enough to stay on. After I rained down some punches from this position, I started delivering some elbows to his forehead. They were cutting him open fairly easily, though the cuts were very small. Then I gave him some more punches to the cut area. The fight stopped for some reason and we were standing again. Roger's forehead wasn't really bleeding but instead looked like it had a huge cut-up bruise on it. When the fight resumed I was throwing some punches at him and he was obviously done with the fight, but still sort of staying in it, like when Kimbo got beat by the cop. It was soon finished and I had won the bet.

A couple days later, a bunch of people including Roger and me (pun intended) were going on a sort of field trip somewhere, and I was demanding my $400 from him. He didn't want to give it to me but finally gave it up, handing me a roll off cash with a dollar wrapped around the outside. I opened it up and it turned out to not be cash at all, but a couple dollars on the outside and a ton of coupons on the inside, adding up to $400 worth of "value". There were some pretty good coupons, like $100 free at Target, $100 free at Best Buy, etc, but I wasn't having it. I told Roger that he'd better get me $400 in real cash or he'd endure a repeat of the fight. LOL.

Strangler

Last night's (3/3):

It is very late at night and I either wake up (not in real life) or am getting ready to fall asleep. The lights are out. I decide to check my walk-in closet to make sure there is nobody in there. I crawl out of my airbed and over to the closet. I enter the closet and wave my arm around near the ground. My hand runs into something. It feels like a leg. I use my other hand to grab also. It is legs. Suddenly a cable is flung around my neck and I am being choked with extreme pressure and very violently. My vision starts to fade and I black out. Then I woke up for real.

Daniel Frustration

Last night's (2/3):

There is a new employee at Avamar. A small group of us are out at lunch with him, and we are eating in a wooded area which feels a bit like a secluded place at Magic Mountain. As we are getting our food and sitting down, I am going off about Daniel at the Shell Subway near our work and telling the new employee the various stories of my experiences with him.

As we sit down, I notice that Arun sits at the end of the log-table, not next to us. I know this is because he is tired of hearing these same stories and I mention so out loud. Arun does not bother to respond and begins to eat his food.

Raptor High Jump

Last night's (1/3):

I work at a Zoo. Something is wrong or we have to check something very late at night. A bunch of us zoo workers go into the zoo and are walking through it (it is a linear zoo). We notice that some of the velociraptors are out in the bushes... in the public area. This is pretty scary. There were about 3 of us in this area. We decided to get out of there, but I can't remember if we just continued to walk calmly, walked faster, or made a run for it. All I remember is turning around and watching an overweight female co-worker behind me grabbing onto a wooden raft that is being used as a bridge, as she is eaten from the legs up and mawled down by a raptor. Then I see another raptor near me, but it just decides to jump extremely high over the fence back into its designated area.

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Obama-McCain Debate

Barack Obama and John McCain decided to hold a presidential debate which had an odd format. It was sort of like a press conference. The two sat at a cheap table with a light blue tablecloth on it. They sat side-by-side, very close to each other, both facing the press in the same direction. They would each make short speeches, back and forth, about 3 or 4 minutes each. The rules were that they were not allowed to interrupt each other.

McCain finished with one of his speeches, Obama was giving his, and somehow the venue came up, and Obama said something like "and of course, thanks to that we can be here having this debate at the [location] on [channel]." (can't remember the loc/chan) As Obama was starting to say the location, McCain looked over at him and gestured with his hand at some large poker-chip-like discs that were sitting on the table. The small discs had logos on them. One was for the venue, and the other for the channel. In response to McCain's gesturing, Obama put the chips in his own hands and held the first one up in one hand as he mentioned the location, and then the other up in the other hand when he mentioned the venue. Then Obama continued his statement: "...and when I'm the President of the United States, we won't have to put up with this type of corporate ass kissing." Or perhaps it was a bit lighter, like "corporate pandering".

The entire crowd exploded in cheers. McCain had his "here I am humbly looking down, uncomfortable, and in the minority like when I was on Ellen" face on. As the crowd continued to cheer, McCain wanted so badly to make a comment into his microphone, but knew he couldn't break the rules. So resisting commenting, with his mouth at the microphone as if he was about to comment, he turned his head completely sideways leaning to one side of the microphone, holding that for about a second, then leaned his head sideways the other way, on the other side of the microphone, then sat back.

Elevator Pay Hack

My British friend Sam and I are hanging out at the airport. I'm not sure if it's LAX or not, and I think he either just arrived or is leaving. Anyway, we get into an elevator and it starts to drop. The drop is not as long as usual in my dreams, it's only around 4 or 5 floors. As the elevator gets to the bottom of the shaft it actually slows down completely but is still moving. Then I notice that the doors are shut together but peeled down towards outside the elevator. I don't remember seeing what it looked like outside, but on top of the peeled down doors is Sam's luggage - two suit-cases, one smaller one on top of another.

Somehow this "glitch" of his luggage being on top of the peeled down doors causes this small metal box that sticks out about an inch underneath the elevator keys to start dispensing quarters, or maybe quarters and higher denominations of change. It stops dispensing them after about a half-minute. Me and Sam want to recreate the scenario a bunch of times to get more money out of it.

The Village Las Vegas

The Village is actually in Las Vegas, on the strip, as a tall tower. Me and the guys from work are going around the village, drinking, drunk, stopping to gamble here and there, and checking shit out in the mall and arcades. The Village in Las Vegas is way more crazy. On each floor there is some sort of attraction, like a casino, arcade, shops, and the other half is apartments. So we are on one of the floors and we go past some shops, and we are in the apartment half (think a mall that after a while instead of stores, there are just apartment doors and a far more ambient environment).

As mentioned we are drunk and someone says "Hey, I know this one's vacant." He opens the door and we go into the apartment, which is the same floor plan basically as mine and it is indeed almost completely empty. Somehow, however, I can feel that someone is living in this apartment, perhaps just moved in, and is not there at the moment. Somebody decides to take this urn from the bathroom as a souvenir as we all drunkenly loudly leave the apartment. Suddenly the group turns into like only 4 people, and we see the girl that lives in the apartment coming (I don't know how we know she lives there), so we make a run for it. We all split up and I end up going into a stairwell. Somehow I ended up with the urn. I am very nervous and decide to hide the urn inside of a wicker hamper that is in the corner of the stairwell.

In the coming days, there are signs posted for the missing urn. I don't know why I can't return it or pretend that I just happened to find it, but I just can't bring myself to it (?) I am sitting in a lobby area on one of the floors of the Village and I notice the girl (who owns the urn) walking around from person to person. She comes to me and sits near me and asks me if I've seen the urn and that it's not fair that somebody stole it from her and that she wants it back badly, as she cries. I lie and pretend that I don't know anything about it.

I don't know what my problem was in this dream.

Powerful Brita Filter

This one is actually from a month ago or so, but I just recently remembered it again:

I'm either watching an infomercial on tv, or I am in the studio audience for the infomercial. It is for the Brita water filter pitcher. The man demonstrating the filter says something like "The Brita filter is so powerful..." and he takes an empty pitcher, opens the top, pisses inside of it, and says "just look at that" as clear water flows out into the bottom half of the pitcher.

Dream Loop

Setup: I have these dreams frequently, where I think someone has broken into my apartment. I believe I have these dreams as a defense mechanism that tells me that I've left my sliding door open, I'm asleep in the living room, and I hear voices from outside that I shouldn't be hearing.

Dream: I have a dream where I wake up in my bed to sounds of voices. I groggily walk to the living room to find most of my stuff missing and my door open. I get pissed off at the situation, but then I wake up.

But not really, I wake up in the living room on my couch. I reach for my food which should be on my table, but it's not there. I walk to my bedroom and notice my computer and bed are missing. A woman is there, who looks like Mrs. Robinson. She tells me to calm down and that she needs my belongings. I'm furious at the situation, but she starts to undress. This quickly turns to a sex scene. But as I realize that Mrs. Robinson in present time would be super old, I wake up.

But not really, I wake up in the living room on my couch, face down in my pillow struggling to breathe. I want to roll over, but I know I'm on my couch, and I'd roll over to the ground. I try to roll in place, but in both attempts, my body isn't listening to me. I hear a number of people walking through my apartment laughing as they take my stuff. I finally get up, but my body doesn't move as it should. I walk outside and yell, "Police!", but no one comes. Also, my sliding door shows that it's night, but my front door shows that it's day. I then wake up.

This time I really wake up. I wake up to the sounds of my upstairs catercorner neighbor coughing and yelling at one of the kids she babysits. The sun is hitting my face through some reflection of glass in my living room. I stare at my tv, and I notice my Wii is missing! I'm really awake now, as I check my apartment for other items that were missing in my various dream loops. My senses hit me as I realize that I left my Wii at my uncle's house this past weekend to be entertainment for them and my parents which are in town. Sure enough my sliding door window was open the whole night, I fell asleep in the living room, and I guess my brain was on alert mode for every noise I heard.

Dreamcorder 2010

The Dreamcorder reaches its logical conclusion and becomes a video blog where Luke posts Paris-Hilton-style (or Colin-Farrell-style) home sex tapes. He excitedly shows me his latest post — at work! — and as I realize what I'm watching in my dream, my mind kicks me back out into real life. Thankfully, my brain made it so that I somehow knew that I was watching Luke, but I wasn't actually forming any mental images ... of him, at least. ;-)

The Most Exclusive Club

Two short dreams from last week:

Dream The First

I am in an outdoor mall, much like The Spectrum, with a lady leading me somewhere. I have been granted access to an exclusive bar, which only a select few ever get to enter. As we approach the tall, brass-handled black wooden doors, which have a pattern of squares in relief, I start to notice acquaintances walking by whom I haven't seen — or even thought about — in years. Just as the doors begin to open, they start noticing me too. I catch a glimpse inside the bar, and everything seems like it's in black and white, but really it's just that the whole room — bar, stools, floor, walls, ceiling — is colored a light gray, and all the patrons are dressed in black. At this point, I am torn between following the lady who is trying to lead me through the now closing doors and not blowing off the people who are trying to strike up conversations.

Dream The Second

I am in an antique store / pawn shop, looking at items near the back of the store, when I hear a goose enter the place. The other customers shoo the goose away, and when I get to the front of the store, it is waddling out the open front door. I honk loudly, and the goose returns and studies me while tilting its head from side to side. The other people in the store are impressed with my influence over it.

The goose disappears, and I see a small girl walking outside through the glass. She is wearing a dirtied and rumpled pink ballerina outfit. She walks in and begins to dance. Everyone gathers to watch. When she is done, she walks over to my dad — who I apparently came with — hugs him, and begins telling her sorrowful tale. "Mister, I just need a few monies so I can have something to eat," she tells him, in a heartbreakingly cute midwestern accent. By the end, we are all in tears. I tell my dad, "this girl always gets all the money from everybody", wondering if it might be some kind of brilliantly effective scam. No matter. The owner of the store wheels in a black plastic trash can, flips open the lid, and everyone simply empties their wallets into it, sobbing the whole time.

Australian Shower

I was moving some stuff into my apartment and I had rented a truck, a tractor trailer mind you, for the job. Though somehow it only had the front part (tractor) of the truck. I was done moving, but was annoyed because the truck was bending down forward a bit, so I decided to find a trailer to hook up to it to even it out. I looked up some place online where you can go and pick up loads, and I did so. I went to return the truck (basically to a place that looked almost exactly like where I dropped off my U-Haul with Arun & Sean). I parked the truck at the designated area and was supposed to wait for someone to come out and inspect, but nobody was coming (just as it was in real life). I also became concerned, now realizing that I'm probably not supposed to return the truck with a trailer/load attached, and as to what I was going to do with it.

I got out and was walking towards the rental office when I heard this nice female Australian accent from another entrance to the office. I followed the voice and barely saw the late 20's white woman walking away from some people. She was hot,and had some big tits. I followed where she went, and found that she was in a shower. The shower had a translucent sliding door, where I could see that she was in there, but couldn't see any detail. I said "hello?" She slid open the door to see who it was, naked and all, and said "Oh hi! Lucky you! Come in." She had a very friendly, outgoing, slutty attitude. I got naked and got in there. I was soaping her top half and enjoying feeling her up.

It was one of those where I woke up and was like "no no no..." trying hard to fall back asleep and get back into the dream.

Funny Dreams

I have a hard time remembering them, but lately I've been finding myself waking up from laughter numerous times.

MMA bullies

I'm in a mall or hotel, I'm not exactly sure, because it definitely looks like a nice lobby, but I'm not sure of the specifics. Either way, there's a bunch of signs hung everywhere, but I don't remember what they say, which makes me think I'm at a conference or expo. Either way these bullies all wearing the same jackets come strolling in launching cigarettes at everyone. But, the cigarettes are getting lunched like missiles or more like fireworks, the whistling kind. As people are retreating in fear, I lunge for one of them. As the fight starts, I find out he really knows how to fight. I then hear yells from his friends with a lot of wrestling and bjj terms. At this point, I think I'm in trouble, but in my dream world, I know wrestling and bjj, but I also have like 50 lbs. over the guy. Anyway, I'm exhausted wrestling this guy to a good position, and then I take his back and go for a rear naked choke. As I do so, I roll to my back so that he's struggling. I then wake up with my face in my pillow, and I'm the one struggling for air. I guess this fight in my dream, which was causing me exhaustion, was from my face in my pillow.

Scrubs, After Dark

I'm in Sacred Heart, and I'm going to hit up the doctor's napping room. Elliot is there and she's in her jammies. She's starts talking to me about work, but I can't help but notice her exposed middrif. I start feeling her, and she calls me JD. I now notice I'm JD. Either way, I get to third base with her, and then Keith walks in. He says, "What are you doing, JD?", as I'm getting undressed. I tell him that I was getting ready for bed, but I'd be in the adjacent bed next to Elliot and them. Anyways, as I lay there, Elliot says, "You want to join us for some 'all about Elliot' action?" At that point, I wake up, and my nice dream turned into an uncomfortable nightmare.

Kristian W.VA Trip

Me and Kristian are on a road trip in Pennsylvania, going south in the eastern part of the state. We get to the top of a mountain and stop. I get out of the car and tell him that I'm going to meet up with him later that night, and am going to go home for a bit.

I go to my parents' house (which really is in PA), but at the same time I still have remote vision out of the car Kristian is driving. He is going down a hill at night at high speed, down a water stream (much like that one new level in Mario Kart Wii), where the water makes the car go faster. So he is having some trouble keeping the car from crashing, but is managing it.

We are on the phone after he is through this part, and it is just after midnight at this point. He is about to enter West Virginia (which geographically doesn't make sense since that can only occur on the very western side of PA), and I am telling him that he is about to enter W.VA. I don't want to meet up with him down there because I'm tired, but I haven't told him or decided for sure.

Kimberly Car Ride

Late at night on a Friday or Saturday, me and some friends pull up to this large parking lot belonging to a factory. I get out of the car and go into these large open doors (like a plane hangar has) of the factory and am exploring it. I pull a large lever that I find. This causes a large metal beam above me to slowly contact with this small square metal plate, causing four bolts on the plate to slowly pop out one at a time in a controlled manner. I realize that this is going to cause something to happen in the factory. I run for the exit, but as the last bolt pops out, the doors shut rapidly, trapping me inside.

My friends can see me from the outside, and somehow I get out. We decide to leave. I'm driving, I've got Kimberly from Girls Aloud sitting next to me, and Emily and a couple others in the back. The Chemistry (no pun intended) between me and Kimberly is so very strong. We stared into each others eyes for a number of seconds as we were slowly starting to drive off, and it was like a flood of intense lust. She purposely positioned her legs close to the center console of the car. When I changed gears (this might have been a stick), My finger touched her leg and it was like the greatest thing ever, even though it was just for a moment.

I woke up feeling weird and confused, happy then guilty.

Avamar Female Refugee Site

We moved into a new building, kind of like a twin-towers setup, but much smaller... with one of the towers being about 50 floors or so, and the other being shorter, at about 20 floors.

Me and Sean were trying to go up the stairs in our main (50-story) building, but the stairs were messed up. You'd get to the top of the a set of stairs and they'd end with the underside bottom of the stairs above them in the way, so you had nowhere to go. We figured out that we could crawl through this thin opening on the side of the stairs to get to each next set.

On our way up, we ended up going into the other tower, I'm not sure if by mistake or on purpose. We end up on the roof of the shorter tower, where we discover a couple hundred American female refugees.

They looked like normal women and I don't know what they were refugees of.

Coochie Do

I am taking an art class at a college, and my professor is a mid-30s woman who isn't bad looking. We had made eye contact on a number of occasions. We are preparing for Halloween in the class, and suddenly the class changes into a party-city type store, with the teacher being the ringer. All the students are buying masks and the such. As I check out, she becomes flirtatious with me, and I with her.

Suddenly, we are alone in her apartment, and she wants to go at it. Next thing I know, she is completely naked on her bed, laying back but propping herself up on her elbows, her legs spread. She is extremely open, I have never seen a girl this open and this big before. You could toss a tennis ball in without it hitting a wall. It turns me on. I want to dive right in, but first I ask her if she has any STD's. Upon receiving this question, she becomes shocked, closes her legs, curls herself upright on the bed, and says "huh?"

I ask the question again. She gets up and walks to the doorway. Turning around she says that most girls have STDs. I say "No.. the statistic is that one-fourth of teenage girls have them... and you're certainly no teenager." She becomes embarrassed and hides behind the doorway. I say, "well???" She peeks around the corner at me, her arms going straight down, crossing and closed by her thighs. She shakes her head in confirmation. "Which one?", I ask. She doesn't respond, and hides back behind the door. "Which one do you have??", I persist. She peeks back around the corner and reveals her STD, saying "Coochie Do".

Bot Bidding

Me and Hai were competing for a R.O.B.-esque R4-P17 droid on eBay. It was up to around $50.

Dreams of Democrats

I thought this was pretty funny, this was from last Sunday before the primary. Me and my girlfriend (Emily) both woke up at the same time, and I told her my dream:

"I was in Pennsylvania, voting in the primary, in Danville (small town I grew up in), and when I was done voting, I gave the guy my ballot, but he didn't tear the stub off of it, and just threw the whole thing into this large open recycling-type bin. So I started protesting to him like 'what the hell are you doing?' etc, and the man couldn't understand what was wrong. I pointed out that he wasn't filing valid ballots, and additionally you could just look in the bin and see who was getting more votes. He still couldn't figure it out, so then I looked in there and said 'Look, what's to stop me, if I'm you, from saying 'hey, look, these are all for Hillary, lets toss them out, or vice-versa??' The guy and his hick co-workers were completely dumbfounded and just started packing everything up as the polls were closed by this time."

and then Emily told me hers right after:

"I was in a log cabin with Barack, there was a fireplace going and it was dimly lit, and he was in a rocking chair, and me sitting nearby in a regular chair, and I was just telling him how great I thought he was, and tearing up and crying as I told him how I thought he would really change the country."

If I may say so myself, I think we're hilarious.

Avamar Suspect

From like 3 weeks ago:

Somebody was trying to blow up our office building, but nobody knew who it was. A few days later, I was driving up on the roof of the building (because you could in my dream, it was sort of a parking lot up there, but nobody ever goes up there). Anyway, me being the curious person that I am, wanted to go check it out after work one day. So I'm driving up there, and then a bunch of other people from work drive up there also a bit later, and they spot me. They roll up next to me and Eugene is hanging out the window asking what I'm doing up here, and I said "just looking around", and he said, "what are you, looking for some roaches?" and I don't remember my response, but it was obvious that he and others thought that *I* was the bomber!

Real Life: I have gotten in trouble on a couple occasions of looking around places out of curiosity.

The Writer's House

Part 1: I'm visiting a writer at his house to collect some materials from his peculiar office. The center of the room has a flat, square, white floor. Against the opposite wall from the door is a desk piled high with papers. To the left is a large, high-ceilinged area with white walls. The floor -- covered in a dark blue indoor-track-like material -- slopes up at a 45-degree angle, and there are a few large black spherical bean bags spread around. The right side has the same walls, ceiling, and carpet, but the floor is level, and about 8 feet below the place where I'm standing. In a dimly lit corner of the right area is a chair and desk, a bookshelf, and a bike. I wonder if there's a door somewhere to get to the lower level. Do you just jump down and climb back up?

Part 2: After leaving the writer's house, I'm outside at my car, which is parked at the end of a long driveway that leads up to house, a low and wide, dark wood number. The driveway is lined by shrubbery, next to which are long and narrow koi pools, fed by waterfalls coming off a ledge. I take a really long time putting stuff away in my car, opening and closing the trunk, opening and closing doors, and checking the tires. It's such a nice house, I almost don't want to leave. A lady -- presumably the writer's wife -- comes by with her dogs. We exchange pleasantries and I start playing around with one of her dogs, a caramel-colored pomeranian who is very cheerful. After some further banter with the lady, the subject matter of which is unclear, she goes back into the house.

Part 3: Suddenly, I find myself inside a bar. The walls, tables, and chairs are all wood. There is some kind of dispute going on, which is clear to me in the dream, but which I can't remember now. I am being talked to sternly at some point by some women. When I go outside, it is nighttime, and the parking lot is a sea of darkness with a few pools of light. Once my eyes adjust to the darkness, I look around and then remember that I don't know how I got to the bar, and am afraid that I've left my car at the writer's house. I hold up my key fob and start pushing the buttons and walking around. After a few tense moments, I hear my car honk and see its lights flash. A wave of relief washes over me.

Snake Catcher

Dream: I'm watching a tv show about snakes. They show a re-enactment of a snake that went into a house. They show the point of view of the snake. Somehow, the re-enactment looks like my house. I suddenly hear a hissing noise in the background. Sure enough, the snake is in my house in TN. My family starts to freak out, but I get the idea, that I really know what I'm doing. I approach the snake carefully, making sure to constantly have a moving object in its view. I grab the snake by the scruff of it's neck, and I pick it up. All I remember is the scaly feeling of it on my right arm, as it coils around it. I pick up the snake, take it outside, uncoil it from my arm, and throw it far into the field behind my house. I walk back in my house with my heart pounding in my chest. I hear a knock at the door. As I look out the door, the same snake or similar one slithers under the tight space in between the frame and the door. I seem to repeat this pattern at least three times.

Awake: I jump up in my bed checking around the floor in a half asleep haze.

Somewhat similar event: When I was like 9 or 10, my brother, cousin and I capture a mole that was jumping around from hole to hole in my uncle's backyard. We have a bucket ready at the exit/entrance of one of the holes, and we scoop him up. We take the mole inside to show our parents. We tip the bucket a bit too far forward, and the mole leaps out. In this original story, I don't chase it around. Instead my dad and uncle capture it in the bucket from the basement, and bring it back up to the kitchen. Again, the tenacious mole frees itself from the bucket, and it runs towards my mom and aunt. To save them, I pick it up bare handed, and it gnaws the inside of my thumb apart. I throw it into the basement again. This time, the mole doesn't come back up, as my dad and uncle corral him to a basement door outside.

The events were similar, as the snake and mole were lunging towards my family, and I blindly pick up the animal. This time, in my dream, the snake doesn't bite me, as I have a death grip on it's head due to fear of the animal.

Shoe salesman to girl dormitory wandering

First dream: I'm wandering through a mall wearing a black polo shirt, black pants, and black shoes. I wander into a super shoe store, and I'm standing on a stage of sorts (I don't know if you guys had "Just for Feet" stores around here, but it was like one of those). When I get up there to look at a shoe display, I hear booing from the shoppers, and one of the store's employees tell me to, "Get out Kohl's guy." Apparently, my outfit was a shoe salesman outfit for Kohl's. I don't shop at Kohl's, so I don't even know if they have a shoe department. Well, now I got it in my head that I need to sell shoes. I leave the store, and wander to the food court, which is setup like a carnival, but inside a mall. Somehow in the food court, is another sports store. I see a "help wanted" sign, so I apply for a tennis department position. Somewhere down the road, I remember I already have a job in my dream world at Kohl's, then during the application to the job, I remember I have a job in real life. So instead of waking up, I ask for weekends only. After my shift, I continue walking the mall, and I run into like 20+ people I went to high school with. Conversations are firing back and forth, the crowd gets bigger, and we end up eating in the food court. At one point, I run into a friend from high school that went to the same college as I did. He lives in the mall, in a really nice house. All I remember from his house were all the cool gadgets and latest electronics. As I find the bathroom, I wander by a recording studio. I ask him if I can fool around freestyling, and he and his posse start to laugh at me. I guess they figure I ain't got skills. I remember, that I had to get back home, and I leave his house. I then realize I don't have a car and I don't now where this mall is located. The dream somehow blends to the next one.

Second dream: Somehow Henry and I are wandering the halls of a girls dorm. I can't remember if we're there for Henry or me, or if we're just looking for tail. Either way, I run across another bunch of people I know, except for this time they're all women. As I go through the dorm, one girl says that this girl, Chanda is looking for me. I went to elementary school with her, and I recently started talking with her online. Either way, I end up in front of her dorm room, and I meet Arun in some common area on one of the floors. I tell him my plans, and he tags along. When I get to Chanda's room, it's like the beginning of a porno. The room is steamy, another roommate comes out in a towel, who I recognize as a friend who is currently going to USC, but is like a little siter to me. I ask if Chanda lives in the room, and Chanda hears me from the shower. She tells me to come on in. At this point Henry and Arun jab me like a hundred times in my ribs with their elbows. As I make my way to the bathroom, I wake up.

Awake: I try to go back to sleep to pick up where I left off, but my alarm goes off.

Inaccurate Human Rights Violation

I'm watching a documentary on the Discovery Channel (or some similar channel) which features explicit recreations of events, completely uncensored. Anyway the scene is in Saudi Arabia or some bordering nation. Some offending young woman is dragged out to the desert with a hood over her head, but the rest of her is naked. She is put on all fours, and then the hood is taken off and six Arab guys take turns going around her in a circle sodomizing her. But then when the camera is zoomed into the actual penetration, I'm like "...thats not her ass, thats her..." as the re-enactment was showing standard intercourse as opposed to what they were describing.

DON'T ASK MY WHY, CAUSE I DON'T KNOW.

Spider Head

Backlog (4/4)

My girlfriend Emily and I live in a department store, but many of the shelves are barren. Emily finds this huge spider (like 1ft wide), and instead of being scared to death of it (as she is in reality by small ones), she thinks it's awesome. She picks it up and is saying "Babe, check out this awesome spider!!! I wanna watch it make a web." I'm pretty disgusted by the spider. She lets it go but it crawls up her leg and torso, to which she giggles. It then props itself onto her head, with legs clamped down around her head (Half-Life style). She thinks it is awesome and is like "look at me, isn't this hilarious!?" and I'm like "uhhh.. yeah.."

Then she tries to remove the spider from her head after it's there for a while. She can't get it off. She starts getting frustrated, and finally like rips it off her head, throws it, and starts screaming. There's a puddle of fluid on top of her head. It wasn't from her head, it was from the spider, but we knew it meant that the spider was preparing to get through her skull and suck her brain out.

Beach Barry

Backlog (3/4):

I'm on a nude beach, which becomes a clothed beach, and everyone is suddenly wearing clothes, including myself.

Then I'm just laying front-down on my towel and I notice that Barack Obama is laying near me. I started talking to him, saying "Dude, I think you're gonna take the whole thing!" I don't remember exactly what he replied, but it was some sort of slightly laughing appreciative reply.

(First Obama dream)

Plastic Clothes Wringer

Backlog (2/4):

Steve Gomez brought to work this new USB-powered clothes wringer that he got. It expanded to a bigger size like one of those wire-frame balls, and was made entirely of thin, cheap-feeling plastic. I was trying it out in the kitchen, trying to run a wet hand-towel through it, and it wasn't working well (maybe because I didn't have it plugged into any USB there). Steve came in and started yelling at me as to what do I think I'm doing trying to feed it a hand-towel. My response was like "what CAN you run through it then?" but he just took it and left.

Toenail Waiting Room

Backlog (1/4):

Doing some Kardashian-like chick in the waiting room of a toe-nail doctor. The clinic is inside of a mall.

Subway sandwiches

Real life: Arun, Henry and I talk about going to get Subway's $5 footlong sandwich.

Dream: I'm in line getting rushed at the Shell Subway sandwich counter, I don't remember telling my sandwich artist what I wanted. I confusedly look at Arun and Henry, who are to the left of me, if they can remember what I ordered. I then get rung up by the cashier, but I don't think I got charged $5, but more. I make a comment, but she states that I didn't choose a qualifying sandwhich. I then intend to not pay and leave without my sandwhich, but somehow I've already paid, with some change in my hand. I make the connections that something isn't right, and I wake up.

Team USA

With the NBA Western Conference playoff race and March Madness going on, I've been following a ton of basketball lately, so I was bound to have a dream about it at some point ...

I'm somehow on the court as Jason Kidd is schooling the much smaller Jordan Farmar in the ways of being a point guard. I can't tell what the venue is, since the area surrounding the court is pitch black. I think there have been many Nike commercials like this. At some point, I take matters into my own hands and start beating Kidd to the punch. A pass goes into the corner of the court, and I get a hand on it, as Jason goes for the steal and ends up out of bounds. I spin towards the basket and go in for the lay-up, but it's short. The ball comes back down under the hoop and I have to pick it up off the pine. When I look back up, I'm in a crouch, so the basket seems like it's 15 feet above me. I throw it up and it goes and goes and goes until it falls through the net. When I look over to the sideline, there is a long, white banquet table with Team USA logos on the side. The first person I see sitting at the table is Don Nelson. The dream ends before I see anybody else.

Avamar Roaches

Real Life: We are waging a war against Roaches in our apartment's kitchen.

Dream: There is a major roach infestation at Avamar. Like, major, they're everywhere. We are all fighting them with spray and various things like in an actual warzone, and then this HUGE one comes out of the Kitchen/Princeton, I'm talking about like 4ft long, 3ft high, and starts chasing me! It chases me around the perimeter of the office, in a loop outside of the kitchen/Princeton. I can't remember what happened, but somehow I got away/we suppressed the King Roach.

Very Angry Arun

For some reason Arun gave me a ride home from work (hah, yes all the way to my place), and then we picked up my girlfriend (Emily) because we all wanted Carl's Jr. So we pick her up and go to Carls Jr. I don't remember what Arun ordered but me and Emily each ordered a chicken sandwich. We got food through the drive thru and then we were on our way back towards our apartment. Emily and I were both in the back seat eating our chicken sandwiches, when we both started spilling a bunch of runny sauce from our sandwiches onto the car's seats/upholstery.

Arun got extremely pissed off about this, like so super upset, yelling loudly at us. Then we remembered that some people don't like to have eating in their car and realized we forgot to ask if we can eat our sandwiches in there in the first place. He just kept going off, he couldn't believe what we did, and just wasn't getting over it at all, even after I said I'd have the entire inside of his car dry-cleaned.

Best Department Store Ever

Another "too hot for tv" one from a couple nights back...

I'm in a Sears-esque department store, except it's got these sub-rooms off the sides, sort of like a furniture store might have. These side rooms each have 3 or 4 hot chicks in them, naked, and I'm just going from room to room taking care of business with each of them.

The Mysterious Houseguest

Another one from last week:

I don't know if The Dreamcorder's existence makes me have more interesting dreams than my usual just-like-real-life ones, or if I'm just remembering them now that there's a place to share them. In any case, we pick up the action as our protagonist is exploring a mansion ...

I decide to check out the bathroom — or, more correctly, the bath house — which is separate from the main residence. Through the entrance is what might best be described as an atrium, with tall windows on the left that look out into the garden. On the right are doors that lead into the showers, each probably the size of my bedroom. The carpet is gray, the walls are cream, and there are nice dark wood accents that give the house the feel of a luxurious ski lodge. Architecture in my dreams is also usually very modern in style.

I look into one of the showers, which is dark. Outside the door, there is a switch panel. There are rectangular, black rocker switches with white graphic labels, set in a square, beige frame with rounded corners — very European-looking, in my mind. I toggle each switch left and right to see what they do, as various areas within the shower room light up (but dimly) and hot water jets spray in various directions. Bathing here would be like standing outside at night in a monsoon.

I either did not shower, or the actual showering was not interesting enough to dream about or remember, so the dream cuts to me re-entering the mansion ...

I walk into the large kitchen only to find a stranger sitting at the dining table. I get the feeling that he's not supposed to be there. I eye him cautiously, and he gives me a quick head nod and then nervously looks away. He is gaudily attired in red, white, and blue — baseball cap, baggy baseball jacket and blue jeans, and K-Swiss shoes — and is doing something I can't quite remember (either shuffling cards or counting money).

Suddenly, the owner enters. I tense up. It's LeBron James! "Hey, what are you doing here?", he asks. I'm nervous for a moment. Have I been trespassing? I mention to him that I told him I was going to use the shower, and he seems satisfied with that response, so I breathe a sigh of relief. I turn his attention to the mystery man at the kitchen table, and he goes to confront him. I don't stay to find out what happens next.

Not sure why it's LeBron James. I think my brain was just trying to find someone rich enough and ostentatious enough to have a bath house like that.

Pancake Restaurant

This one is from St. Patrick's Day:

It was my birthday, and my sister was treating me to brunch. I went to the restaurant with a guy I knew from high school and college (an acquaintance, not really a friend, who I haven't seen in years). The building itself was almost like a modern airport terminal — high ceilings, floor-to-ceiling windows, lots of exposed metal — and the tables were long, bench-like, and totally unadorned. The color gray prevailed. The establishment served tall stacks of pancakes, on wheeled pedestals that were rolled up to the tables by the unseen staff. I almost stole a bite from an unattended stack as I walked by, but held back. Once we sat down to the table (which was so deep that I couldn't reach over and hug my sister), I realized that the guy I was with would only have been there in a dream, so it ended.

Kimberly Fun

I got it on with Kimberly from Girls Aloud. It was a great!

Carla Cube Path

Carla's inner cubicle wall had a section cut out of it, including the desk, forming a small doorway-like opening, that you had to duck just a bit to get through, but it saved me so much time when going over to where thuy/daisy/steve/joey/sein sit. I was very happy to have this new shortcut.

Sausage Nose

Arun was on a roller coaster, he went through a loop-de-loop, and going through the loop caused one of those miniature sausages to fall out of his nose.

Working for the Dreamcorder

I mentioned this to Arun and Sean the other day, but I've been having some interesting dreams. So interesting that I think about bookmarking it in my brain for the purpose to log it on the Dreamcorder. I'm finding though, that this adds to "work" in my sleep pattern that causes me to become aware in my dream or in between dreams. All of this work to remember the dream or realize that I just had a dream may affect my sleep, but not enough to get me out of bed to actually type it up! I'm going to try and relax to the point where I can have memorable dreams, and then log them, instead of trying so hard to remember them.

Chopper Security Suite

I got a windows software security suite, which had all the standard programs, plus it came with a tiny R/C Helicopter, and a USB connected landing pad which is also the chopper's charge station. The helicopter has a tiny camera on it, which sends back real time video to your computer, from which you also control the chopper. It flies for about two minutes and then returns to the landing pad/charge station. I think it can find its way back on its own.

I was flying it around in a van I was living in with 3 room-mates, with me "living" on the "top floor" of the van, like those extended roof things that they put on some campers.

Meat Inspection Act

Real Life: I judged at History Day L.A. this morning, in the category of middle school group exhibits. Of the ones my group judged, we were most impressed by one about the Meat Inspection Act. It was an amazing exhibit, visually and content-wise. And the girls we interviewed who put it together were super on point and impressive, and learned how to use microfiche, etc, really put a lot of work into it. It spun around and even had a "window" at the bottom with a dimly lit bucket inside with various nasty-condition meats.*

Anyway so they were the winning exhibit from our group's selections. Then a coordinator asked if any of us could stay an extra 2 hours to do the finalist judging. I said I would since nobody else in my group was and I really felt the girls in the meat inspection exhibit did a great job and I needed to pull for their exhibit. It turned out there were only two finalist judges, me and this other guy, and so I was promoting the meat inspection exhibit to him (I really did feel that it was even the best in the finalists), and so we ended up choosing that one as the winner of the whole category to go on to state finals, and then maybe nationals! After that I had to leave but wished I could see the girls' reactions to winning and could be like "I was pulling for you!" I went home and took a long nap as the event started at 7.30am.

Dream: I stayed after the final judging was done, the kids all ran in to see how they did, and I got to see the excited reaction of the girls that did the meat inspection exhibit. Satisfied! Thanks brain!

*The girls are not vegetarians for the record. They said they chose this topic because they actually liked meat and were appalled that it had been so contaminated at one point.

Power Outage

This one is from a few days back:

The power goes out at my house and everything turns off except my desktop PC, which is not connected to a UPS. Even my notebook won't power up, since I'd run down the battery earlier that night [in real life]. It's the middle of the night, and I'm calmly trying to save my data and pointlessly copy the URLs open in my Firefox tabs before the system loses power. At some point, I realize that the PC could only still be on if I were in a dream, and I wake up.

Dropping Elevator Again

Me and my girlfriend are going to a Van Halen concert, and we are in this elevator at the venue that is supposed to take us up two or three floors. Instead it goes up really fast to floor 80 or so, and the door opens to reveal nothing more than a solid concrete wall. Then the door closes and the elevator drops. It is getting close to zero, and I know this is a dream. Although this time, the elevator does not go to the B (underground) levels. It just hits, but the impact doesn't really happen in the dream. It picks up after the impact and I no longer know I'm dreaming. We survived and are out of the elevator, with burned clothes, like someone blown up in a cartoon. We are at the concierge demanding front row seating to compensate for our ordeal, but thinking we might even get backstage passes.

Real Life: There is only one Van Halen song that I like.

Ash Mouth

I'm student teaching in a class, and I lean over to help some girl with her work. She is smoking a cigar, and quickly sticks it into my mouth, lit-side in. So I gotta go to the bathroom and am trying to clean out my mouth with water.

One Step Closer

Ironically, my first post is not a dream (breaking the rules?), but I ran across this today, which has been one of my future technological predictions for some time:

"One day it may even be possible to reconstruct the visual content of dreams,"

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2008/03/mri_vision

Welcome, and Good Night

In the future, we will have machines to do this for us; for now, we write.